Every so often I get to encourage moms by giving a Mentor Moment at my local MOPS group. MOPS isn’t a cleaning club. It’s an international organization set up to encourage mothers from pregnancy to preschool. Fun Fact: my own mentor mom, the lovely Wendy Carroll, first introduced me to the Welcome to Holland essay in a Mentor Moment she gave back when I was a young mom.
To know me is to know that words are my jam, particularly written words. In fact, one of my favorite courses back in high school was the dreaded Essay Fundamentals. How I loved the process of writing a strong essay. With this fetish in mind, I’m going to hijack my Mentor Moment and share a mini-essay, emphasis on mini, that Emily Pearl Kingsley wrote about parenting children with different abilities by comparing it to a trip to Holland when your life-long dream was to explore Italy. Although my heart will probably be the only heart that pitter-patters at the sound of an essay being read aloud, I think there’s something in it for all of us.
(Welcome To Holland essay by Emily Pearl Kingsley)
I don’t know about you, but I take great comfort in Kingsley’s essay. I have a few outside-of-the-box children, and I suppose I have a different ability if you consider my hearing loss, and of course neurodivergence is a thing (thank you ADHD).
Let me be clear, I never wanted to go to Holland. Holland is NOT what I signed up for. But I’m learning that Holland is a sacred place.
Don’t think for a minute that I’m trite or that I’m attempting to make light of parenting children with different abilities or really anyone’s parenting journey, typical or atypical. I’m all about being real. Hard stuff is hard stuff. Full stop. Mothering children, especially young outside-of-the-box children, is not for the faint of heart. Yet friends, this land is BEAUTIFUL! It’s full of wonder even if it doesn’t look the way you thought it would. Don’t miss it. Don’t wish it away. Let’s feel our feels and mourn our losses but also seek out beauty, joy and tenderness amongst the chaos, and I do mean chaos, of this place. Let’s embrace the good in Holland! For above all, it is a good place to be.
I believe that Kingsley’s words go hand in hand with Paul’s letter to the Philippians in the Bible. Paul writes in Chapter 4 verse 9, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — If anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.”
In other words, think of the windmills, the tulips. Think of Rembrandts. Think of milk-drunk babies or the chocolate pudding stained cheeks of a preschooler. Together lets embrace bright eyes full of wonder, smudged glasses and all, sticky hands, IEPs and hearing aides. Take it from this old gal, these are the good old days!
God, through the redemptive blood of Jesus Christ, is with you even in the places you may not have wanted to go. He’s been with me during social skills groups, IEP meetings, failed hearing tests and grocery shopping with a hangry toddler in tow, which is quite possible the greatest challenge of them all. He’s with you too.
Welcome to Holland. Enjoy your stay.
(Prayer)
Father God, help us yearn not for Italy but help us to be truly satisfied with our versions of Holland. Cover us with hope and great joy as we take care of our little ones. That hope comes only from knowing your son, Jesus. May his peace be with us through the Holy Spirit. Remind us that we can do all things, especially hard things, through you, the one who gives us strength. Bless this food so that it nourishes our bodies. May the conversation around the tables nourish our souls and point us once again to you. In Jesus’s name, amen.
