Nicole K. Twedt

Being Brave When Life Is Hard

WE GO TOGETHER

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Photo by Hannah Busing, courtesy of Unsplash

Every now and then I get a chance to share a few words in the form of a Mentor Moment with my local MOPS group. MOPS is an acronym for Mothers of Preschoolers. The gist of MOPS is No Mom Alone, at least it was during my first foray with the group, back when my big kids were littles. I’m pretty sure the point is the same: to provide a place for mothers of young children to get the support and love they need to know they’re not alone in this challenging yet breathtaking season of life. It’s also all about Jesus.

Good morning! I’m Nicole. I’m the mentor mom who is more like your big sister. At least that’s what I tell myself. Those of you who’ve been around this group for a bit know I’m the mentor mom who basically got knocked up and had a baby at 40. I know what it’s like to be in the trenches of motherhood because I’m very much still in the trenches of motherhood. I’m also the mentor mom with ADHD so I can pretty much guarantee I’ll be all over the place this morning. Hang in there. I’ve come to learn that because my mind is everywhere, I see God everywhere, too.

I set off to write a mentor moment peppered with humor.

SIDE NOTE #1: I’m not that funny. Everything I came up with was lame. And when I say lame, I may or may not have been planning a dry-shampoo tutorial. Besides, I actually washed my hair last night.

Instead, what I’d like to do this morning is acknowledge that life is hard right now for many of you. BUT there is good news: You are not alone in these hard times.

SIDE NOTE #2: YOU ARE NOT ALONE is basically like saying WE GO TOGETHER. And WE GO TOGETHER is this year’s theme at MOPS. How about that?

You are welcome here. You belong. You are worthy, and I really hope you’ll put yourself out there, be vulnerable, take a few risks, at least enough to experience true friendship and community with the women at your table and in this group. We go together in the beautiful yet terrible trenches of motherhood.

I’m supposed to encourage you but this mentor moments has nothing to do with me giving you advice or me being your personal cheerleader, cheering for you on the sideline. 

SIDE NOTE #3 I’m an introvert. I’m more likely to be found whispering positive affirmations in your ear. There will be no yelling.

Side notes aside, the point I’m trying to make is this: Maybe you’ve heard it before, maybe you haven’t. You are not alone because WE GO TOGETHER. WE (as in you and me, all of us in our MOPS group) GO TOGETHER with GOD through his son JESUS. I know I’m risking sounding cheesy when I say it, but I’m saying it: You are not alone. You are deeply loved by the savior of the word. And with him, YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE.

WE GO TOGETHER.

This is a dark yet incredible world. Life is an adventure and it is glorious, blah, blah, blah. The truth is that life is indeed glorious but it can be so incredibly hard and sometimes downright painful and lonely. But friend, hope and heartache go hand in hand. I’ll say it again: Hope and heartache go hand in hand. Know why?

Jesus Christ died for you. Not just for the world collectively but for YOU personally, so that when you ask him in, his Holy Spirit, his Presence, will be with you wherever you go. He knows who you are, he knows where you’ve been, and where you’re going. He knows the very number of hairs on your head in the most non-creepy way possible. He is your biggest fan, your greatest advocate.

I know life is hard right now. 

SIDE NOTE #4: It’s been hard for me too. 

I thought 2020 was bad but 2022 has been an epic dumpster fire year. I’ve had so many “what’s the point of it all?” thoughts. I’m not ashamed to say it. But you know what? If anything this intense moment in time is reminding me that I am deeply loved, and I’m not alone. God is with me and I have a story to tell. You have a story to tell. Not every season is good but he is good. Despite what’s happened, he loves me. He loves you too. And he longs to reveal himself to you so you can go through life in hope, purpose and love and in great joy.

I’m no expert. I’m hardly what you’d call a mentor because I mess up all the time. I seldom have my act together. I can’t even hear well. But I know Jesus. I know him. There’s nothing you can do to add or take away what he did on the cross for you. He died for your sins to give you new life. Not just everlasting life in heaven but hope for here and now. To give you hope and strength and great joy for today because WE GO TOGETHER WITH THE VERY ONE WHO CREATED US.

SIDE NOTE 5: If you’d like to know more about God and this Jesus and the Holy Spirit, particularly if you’re curious about why I’m gushing over Jesus, I would love to walk along side you and answer your questions or pray with you. Any of us at MOPS would love to pray with you. Or maybe you’re having a hard time. We’re here for you, too, because WE GO TOGETHER.

PRAYER

P.S. SIDE NOTE #6: I forgot the prayer. Hailey had to pray before our breakfast portion of the meeting.

The Truth According To Instagram (Instatruth)

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Photo by Sérgio Rola on Unsplash

Every so often on the blog, I post something I shared with my MOPS group.  MOPS is a group that gathers to encourage mamas of children ranging from birth to age five, including mamas-to-be.   To find out more about MOPS or to find a local MOPS group, head on over to the MOPS website.

Imagine it’s nap time and you’re scrolling through your Instagram feed.  An image of orange leaves catches your eye.  The leaves, practically tangerine in color, are falling from a branch from the top left of the photo set against a background of pale blue.  Though vibrant in color, the leaves are a bit blurry. In the foreground, front and center, in crisp white lettering, you see the words of Isaiah 43:2: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. “

This is what Rachel Wojo,* had to say about her image on Instagram: “There is an enemy who longs to strangle you with fear, to squelch your flame of faith, to keep you from all God has for you.  You’ve met him and know him.  But this enemy? He flees at the name of Jesus.  The One who calls you by name is only a call away.  Fear has no dominion over you because HIS perfect love is more powerful than any anxiety, worry or fear you may encounter.  The One who redeemed you didn’t shed his precious blood for you, only to lose you.  Oh no.  Jesus conquered death itself with his perfect love; even your worst fear is no match for his love!”

God is speaking everywhere, even on social media. Did you catch that? You are his!  You don’t have to be anxious!  He will help you be brave when life is hard, one step at a time.   You might not feel brave.  But each time you acknowledge his presence, when you call on him and believe what he says about you is true, you are being brave.

Another thing: God tells us throughout the Bible that his perfect plan is for us to love him with our whole heart, follow him and not live in fear because he has amazing things planned for us, all because he loves us so, which basically makes me want to get on Instagram and create my own fall image with Ephesians 2:10 in fancy-pants lettering.  “For we are God’s masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

Pray with me, please…God we thank you for the freedom from fear that you offer.  We thank you for MOPS, this safe place where we can let our guard down and be filled with your life-giving presence. I love that we can call on your name wherever we go.  Thank you for the hot breakfast this morning, and for the Mamas who frantically prepared it.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

*Since I’m a rule follower, I first asked author Rachel Wojo if I could share her post to open our MOPS meeting.  Her exact words, “Absolutely Girl.  Thanks for asking; it’s all His.” Also, I’m not the one who stumbled upon Rachel’s Instagram post.  My friend Kathy, who happens to be one of our amazing MOPS kids coordinators, found the post and shared it at our planning meeting.

Sing Over Me

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I’m going to plagiarize myself in this mini-essay.  It’s partly from a Christmas letter I wrote back when I was pregnant with Steven.  I’m dusting it off  since I’m supposed to deliver a Mentor Moment tomorrow morning at MOPS and I’ve got nothing.   

The theme for today’s MOPS meeting is good sleepers.  It would’ve been really cool if I had my act together and had a mentor moment to go along with it.  I’ve got nothing.

But my ADHD mind specializes in making random connections.  The subject of sleeping babies reminds me of lullabies, which reminds me of the CD mom gave us when Emily was little.  It was called Sing Over Me by Bethany Dillon.  I loved the CD but the title track rubbed me wrong; it’s from Zephaniah 3:17.  “For the LORD your God is living among you.  He is a mighty savior.  He will take delight in you with gladness.  With his love, he will calm all your fears.  He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”   It’s a great verse, really it is, but the bit at the end bothered me.  I thought we were the ones who were supposed to rejoice in him, not the other way around.  And what does it even mean to sing over someone?  It’s kinda weird, don’t you think?

Someone smarter would’ve just googled it.  But I had a very busy toddler, and I wasn’t firing on all cylinders.   The Zephaniah verse troubled me, but it was more of a fleeting thought.  The verse would rise to my mind as I was driving around the silvery lake to the grocery store or while I lathered shampoo or conditioner into my hair in the steaming shower, which is where I do all my best thinking.  I’d ask God about the Zephaniah verse.  I wouldn’t get an answer.  I’d then forget about it.  Wash, rinse, repeat.

I was pregnant with baby number two around this time, and I was seriously freaked out.  My pregnancy was marked by fear because a dear friend had just lost her baby boy a month before her due date.  I had this irrational fear that something was seriously wrong with my unborn child.  Or everything would turn out fine with the baby but I would be hit again with postpartum depression.

One afternoon I was lying on the couch, feeling guilty because I was too nauseous to even pick up my Bible.  But in that moment on the couch the Zephaniah verse, the one that never made sense, fell from my head and landed firmly into my heart.  He spoke to my heart through a picture of me rocking Emily as I sang her a lullaby. That’s how he longed to comfort and nurture me.  All I had to do is run to his outstretched arms and lay everything at his feet.  Or in my case, I just needed to lay in fetal position on the couch as he rejoiced over me with singing.  At that moment I knew God was with me, calming my anxious heart.   He was with me in this pregnancy, and he would continue to be with me in childbirth and later as I learned to take care of a newborn again.  After all, he is mighty to save.   All I had to do is come to him.

Child of God, he delights in you, he longs to gather you into his arms so he can sing over you with joyful songs.  All you have to do is come.

Edited to add: On the way to MOPS this morning, about a mile from church by Albertsons, God reminded me of something that happened during the tender months following dad’s death.  Most nights I dreamed of music, of joyful songs in the night.  And these melodies were complete orchestrations.   In my dreams, I could hear each and every instrument and every single musical note from stunning symphonies that were new to me.   I play the piano but I’m not a musical person.  Add to it, I have a high-frequency hearing loss in both ears.  It’s impossible for me to experience the full effect of the orchestra when I’m awake and fully conscious.  I’ve always wondered about those dreams, and what they meant.  But driving to church to talk to moms about how God sings over us with great rejoicing sparked a connection.  He literally sang over me in the darkness of night with songs of great rejoicing.